The [FGS] Clan

Skilgannon wrote:*sneezes* Sorry, allergic to many metabolic end product.

Lol... isn't that a quote from I-Robot?

Rofl... I don't remember anyone accusing you of killing DX, but I remember having a good laugh at you and James talking about being masters and controllers of DX...

Kaiden wrote:

Alex wrote:MMUserControl

Description
I am not responsible for anything you do with this

Skilgannon wrote:*sneezes* Sorry, allergic to many metabolic end product. If that were so, how come they never issued a warning? Surely they would at least notify their customers? I.e. The people who pay them for server time? Yes, you Shadow. And why is it taking so long? We need answers, and now.....

[NK]~Valgothy~ wrote: ROFL, nice way of avoiding responsability. He made it, so he's responsible.

Btw, who is this Alex you all talk about?

Alex wrote:Faith.

A great thing, a horrible thing.

I believe. I really do. I always said I don't believe in God, and I don't. I don't believe in the God that people worship. I do believe that there is something that watches you, and balances you.

Faith enables you to come through tough situations, but also can cause tough situations to take longer.
Take me for an example. I have a wish, a big one. A wish that I know that cannot be fulfilled. Yet, I do keep hoping, because I have faith. And because I keep hoping, it hurts.

I currently work 40 hours per week. I really love my job, and I love my co-workers. But every night, I am depressed, I am sad, I am down.

My life currently has it's good and it's bad sides. My good side is basically my job. Might sound pathetic.

The bad side has a few things. One of my cats, which I love very much, died a while ago. Got hit by a car. Definitely didn't deserve it.
And besides that, I currently like this girl, a lot. I'd say I love her, but we're not in a relationship.
She sees me as her best friend, as her brother. You know what it means when they say that.
And that also hurts.

Faith keeps me hoping that it will turn out good with that girl. And I really do want that to happen, but I know it wont. Faith in that case, is bad.

Faith.. hah. It's a knife that cuts on both sides. It can be so good, yet it can be so destructive as well.

But when I get back to the subject of God or something alike. I often feel that there is something that watches over me, and that hears my prayers. Yes, my prayers. I pray from time to time.

My cat, before we found out she died, was missing for a week. I prayed that we would find her back. That same night, I dreamt about her, or actually, I woke up in the middle of the night, and I saw her, sitting in my room. A few hours later, after waking up, I found out that she died a week before that night, and that we could visit her in the animal morgue.

I have had the same thing before. With the same cat. She was also missing, for a long period.
I didn't pray, but I did dream. I once again dreamt that she was near my room, this time outside of it, trying to get in, scratching the door. That same day, she was found, by my sister.
My cat was a few miles away of my home, and my sister found her by accident, she was somewhere where she never been before, visiting a friends house, for the first time, and there she was. An amazing moment. A moment that really made my faith stronger.

I also thank 'it'. When I went to school, I always travelled by bike. And there was always one piece of road, where you couldn't see any car or whatsoever coming from a certain direction. The direction where busses come from. I almost got hit several times by a bus.

Since a year or so though, every time when I near that exact same place, I see the same bus that nearly hit me a few times, passing by just before I pass that road. I didn't change anything in my rhythm. Every time when that happened, I looked up, and I said thank you.

I believe, or I believed. I am not sure what I do. The current situation with that girl made my faith, my believing, less strong.

I believe that 'it' (God, or whatever is out there) balances your life. For every positive thing, you will have something negative, visa versa. But now I question that theory of mine. I don't know when the positive event will come. I don't know if it will come at all.

I am thorn apart at the moment. It hurts, it really does. The only time when it doesn't hurt is when I work, as I am fully dedicated to my work then. I barely take breaks, I work constantly. All to keep my mind of things. But when I get home, my mind goes to recent events, and to be honest, to her again. And it hurts, which might be logical. You might say, there will be others, or that I should be a man, or whatsoever. And then I can say, that is the worst thing you can ever say to a person in a situation like this. It's been said to me many times. Currently, nothing you can say can help me feel better.

I didn't dedicate this post to faith nor religion. Eugene wanted to see my point of view of things, and I somewhat placed them here. I also used this post to express my feelings about the recent events, and basically, mainly about that girl. I express my emotions about that girl every night, and I'd like to thank those who listen to me. Night after night. You guys been there for me, and I'd like to thank you for it. You know who I mean. You're great.


And no, this post does not mean that I will return. The days after I left this forum, were like freedom to me. I enjoy leaving this forum. I enjoyed leaving the people behind, the people I care about, are in my MSN.