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Article about why do younger women like older guys:
| British Vogue
More and more female celebrities are entering into “age-gap” relationships, when will the rest of society begin to catch up? asks writer Claire Cohen. Why Is A Woman Dating A Younger Man Still So Taboo?
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More and more female celebrities are entering into “age-gap” relationships, when will the rest of society begin to catch up? asks writer Claire Cohen. 2 October 2022. JB Lacroix. Save Story. Save this story. Save Story. Save this story. According to the law of the land ( La La Land , that is), wherever celebrities go, we mere mortals must follow. How else to justify the sequined Harry Styles-esque jumpsuit I recently purchased? The latest message we have received from on high involves older women going out with younger men. Kim Kardashian, 41, recently dated actor Pete Davidson – 13 years her junior. Styles, 28, is in a much-dissected relationship with Olivia Wilde, 38, having met on the set of Don’t Worry Darling . Britney Spears, 40, has just married her long-term boyfriend Sam Asghari, who is 12 years younger. Meanwhile, Sam Taylor-Johnson, 55, and husband Aaron, 32, renewed their vows this summer after 10 years of marriage. In the real world, Tinder has also seen a rise in searches for age-gap relationships this year, with half of its users globally having matched with a younger person in May alone. On TikTok, the hashtag #datingyoungermen has had 560 million views. And according to a recent analysis of US Census Bureau data, 14.8 per cent of women are now married to or in a committed relationship with men between two and 20 years younger than them. On the face of it, then, we are at a tipping point when it comes to the normalisation of age-gap relationships – specifically those in which the woman is older. No longer will they be called demeaning names and treated like pariahs. Their love stories won’t be labelled as “taboo” or be greeted with widespread disapproval. Nothing to see here – move along please. That’s the Hollywood ending, anyway. The truth? Our attitudes still need to catch up with what, for rising numbers of people, is becoming a reality. Despite the upwards trend for age-gap relationships, an Ipsos poll this year found that while 70 per cent of women agree it’s socially acceptable for an older man to be with a younger woman, just 56 per cent of women think it’s acceptable when the age gap is female-led. And we don’t keep those opinions to ourselves. Women who date younger men are, it’s no exaggeration to say, vilified. The venom is unbelievable. Calling them “cougars” and other unflattering nicknames is just the start – though a friend, whose husband is three years younger than her, still bridles at being called a “cradle snatcher” several years into their marriage. In truth, when it comes to ageing and romance, we are a bundle of contradictions. We profess to want a partner who’s mature and has life experience. But we also prize smooth skin and an ability to bounce out of bed in the morning. We moan about baggage but declare it a “red flag” if someone hasn’t had a serious, long-term relationship. We are judge and jury, remarking on any slight age difference even as we profess to embrace progressive views on love. We express concerns about power imbalances, particularly in the wake of #MeToo, or assume the relationship is somehow transactional (see: “gold digger”) or purely physical (see: “toy boy”). And we still struggle with women going against what society expects of them. After all, it’s far easier to fall back on sexist stereotypes and label an older woman as desperate and deluded than see her as a sexual being – or accept that a younger man might not be turned off by the odd wrinkle. For that to be true, we’d have to recognise that women with sagging bodies and silver hair (sometimes even on their chins) are worthy of being desired. The narrative will only change if we normalise this. If we see high-profile women like Kim Kardashian unapologetically dating younger men. If more films are made like Good Luck To You, Leo Grande – in which Emma Thompson plays a 55-year-old widow getting exactly what she wants from a 20-something male sex worker. And looking hot while she does it. In fact, younger men get a lot from older women: self-possession, confidence, an ability to not take themselves too seriously. Societal expectations of women are changing rapidly – the journey to marriage and motherhood no longer a default setting, before we fade quietly into the background and become invisible. Plus, dating apps mean that we can meet and interact with people from different stages of life. The sands are shifting beneath the feet of generations of singletons, and with more over-50s divorcing in the UK than ever before, there are naturally more older women seeking a second chance at love (or lust). And why shouldn’t they? Are we really so tied to a fixed idea of what romance should look like that we don’t want people to find happiness, even if it doesn’t look the same as our own?
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