all the single ladies rebecca traister

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Early in her new book All the Single Ladies, Rebecca Traister writes, “The story of single women is the story of the country.” Unmarried women, she... Choosing Their Choice. Rebecca Traister’s All the Single Ladies , reviewed.

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Early in her new book All the Single Ladies , Rebecca Traister writes, “The story of single women is the story of the country.” Unmarried women, she argues, are a revolutionary force: Their very existence is changing our definitions of love, partnership, and family, and pushing our politics to the left. “Women,” writes Traister, “perhaps especially those who have lived untethered from the energy-sucking and identity-sapping institution of marriage in its older forms, have helped to drive [the] social progress of this country since its founding.” A writer-at-large for New York magazine and a contributing editor at Elle , Traister emphasizes that her goal is not to argue for one structure of life over another. Rather, she writes, “The revolution is in the expansion of options, the lifting of the imperative” that demanded “early heterosexual marriage and motherhood.” It’s been 15 years since HBO’s Sex and the City delivered our most memorable send-up of the idea that feminism exists to pave the way for women’s choices, whatever they may be. “I choose my choice! I choose my choice!” Charlotte shouts at Miranda, defending an embrace of domesticity that, as her friends predict, she will come to regret. We are still debating whether feminism should validate “choice,” or, specifically, the choices that push back against patriarchy. The enormous accomplishment of Traister’s book is to show that the ranks of women electing for nontraditional lives—including queer women, single mothers, proud spinsters, and women, including Traister herself, who forged their identities alone before marrying relatively late—have also improved the lots of women who make traditional choices, blowing open the institutions of marriage and parenthood. Throughout All the Single Ladies , Traister demonstrates how one group of women’s efforts to bend paradigms ended up improving the lives of another group. Because single women needed to work—to support themselves and to ground their identities in something other than marriage and child-rearing—they normalized the image of the working woman, which benefited their married counterparts, too.













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